Thursday, October 31, 2013

Grammar Got Run Over By A Reindeer

As most of you know, I am fascinated by the English language.  More than fascinated, you might say that it is one of my earliest and most enduring loves.  As with almost all long-times loves, this relationship has developed its own fetishes and perversions.  In my case, the most perverse is...I LOVE ENGLISH GRAMMAR.  There.  I said it.  Publicly on Facebook where it is visible to over a billion people.  And along with the base perversion, there exists a sort of corollary:  I am a Grammar Nazi.  As you can see, as GN, I have a Seal of Approval and a Seal of Disapproval.
I have found one song and one song only that addresses this fetish.  Its..oops!  I mean it's a Parody of "Gramma Got Run Over By A Reindeer," a trite and silly song that begs to be parodied.  It's called "Grammar Got Run Over By A Reindeer."

Here are the lyrics.


Grammar got run over by a reindeer

Walking home from our house Christmas Eve
You can say there's no point to good grammar
But as for me and Mignon we believe

She'd been drinking too much eggnog.

Had she drank or had she drunk?
With all her sentence fragmentation,
We'd all told her that her sentence structure stunk.

She was so very, very angry!

She figuratively stormed right out the door.
There were quotation marks around her
We kept wondering what those silly marks were for.

Grammar got run over by a reindeer

Walking home from our house Christmas Eve
You can say there's no point to good grammar
But as for me and Mignon we believe

Hopefully we'll all find grammar

On whom our writing does rely
We may start struggling with pronouns.
Is it you and me or is it you and I?

It's not Christmas without Grammar

We just don't do nothing correct.
And we just can't help but wonder
Are we feeling the affect or the effect?
THE EFFECT!

Grammar got run over by a reindeer

Walking home from our house Christmas Eve
You can say there's no point to good grammar
But as for me and Mignon we believe

Now the podcasts's on our iPods.

And our ear buds in our ears.
We'll be listening in weekly
So we can point out grammatical errors to our peers.

We've warned all our friends and neighbors

Better listen for yourselves
Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing
Is better than any books on your bookshelves.

Grammar got run over by a reindeer

Walking home from our house Christmas Eve
You can say there's no point to good grammar
But as for me and Mignon we believe.

Grammar got run over by a reindeer

Walking home from our house Christmas Eve
You can say there's no point to good grammar
But as for me and Mignon we believe.

I cannot find it on Youtube, but an mp3audio is at http://grooveshark.com/#!/album/Grammar+Girl+s+Quick+And+Dirty+Tips+For+Better+Writing/182994


Note:  Kulwinder Singh, this is worse than most of my songs.  Don't listen, and, if you ignore my advice and listen anyway, don't complain.  You were warned.


Now, a further confession.  I love the fact that the English language is alive, constantly growing, changing, evolving, spinning off in unexpected ways.  I am most grateful that we don't have the equivalent of the fascist Academie Française, telling us what we may or may not say.  There is no point in trying to preserve the purity of the English language; indeed, English has no purity to preserve.  It is a mutt, a mongrel, a Germanic language overrun with vocabulary and grammar from the whole of the Indo-European linguistic family and some from other families, as well.


I am known to occasionally use non-standard grammar, most especially when I verb nouns, a favourite manifestation of my perversion, what you might term a fetish.  Grammar Nazi allows herself this privilege because she knows what she's doing.  When your English is as good as hers, you have her permission to do the same.


(WTF, there is something seriously wrong with you if you need my permission.  Freedom is an even higher value than good grammar.) 

Saturday, October 12, 2013

FOR THE WORLD IS HOLLOW AND I HAVE TOUCHED THE SKY - A Shabad



sRIrwgu mhlw 5 ]
nwmu iDAwey so suKI iqsu muKu aUjlu hoie ]
pUry gur qy pweIAY prgtu sBnI loie ]
swDsMgiq kY Gir vsY eyko scw soie ]1]
myry mn hir hir nwmu iDAwie ]
nwmu shweI sdw sMig AwgY ley Cfwie ]1] rhwau ]
dunIAw kIAw vifAweIAw kvnY Awvih kwim ]
mwieAw kw rMgu sBu iPkw jwqo ibnis indwin ]
jw kY ihrdY hir vsY so pUrw prDwnu ]2]
swDU kI hohu ryxukw Apxw Awpu iqAwig ]
aupwv isAwxp sgl Cif gur kI crxI lwgu ]
iqsih prwpiq rqnu hoie ijsu msqik hovY Bwgu ]3]
iqsY prwpiq BweIho ijsu dyvY pRBu Awip ]
siqgur kI syvw so kry ijsu ibnsY haumY qwpu ]
nwnk kau guru ByitAw ibnsy sgl sMqwp ]4]8]78]


sreeraag mehalaa 5 ||
naam dhhiaaeae so sukhee this mukh oojal hoe ||
poorae gur thae paaeeai paragatt sabhanee loe ||
saadhhasa(n)gath kai ghar vasai eaeko sachaa soe ||1||
maerae man har har naam dhhiaae ||
naam sehaaee sadhaa sa(n)g aagai leae shhaddaae ||1|| rehaao ||
dhuneeaa keeaa vaddiaaeeaa kavanai aavehi kaam ||
maaeiaa kaa ra(n)g sabh fikaa jaatho binas nidhaan ||
jaa kai hiradhai har vasai so pooraa paradhhaan ||2||
saadhhoo kee hohu raenukaa apanaa aap thiaag ||
oupaav siaanap sagal shhadd gur kee charanee laag ||
thisehi paraapath rathan hoe jis masathak hovai bhaag ||3||
thisai paraapath bhaaeeho jis dhaevai prabh aap ||
sathigur kee saevaa so karae jis binasai houmai thaap ||
naanak ko gur bhaettiaa binasae sagal sa(n)thaap ||4||8||78||


Siree Raag, Fifth Mehla:
One who meditates on the Naam is at peace; his face is radiant and bright.
Obtaining it from the Perfect Guru, he is honored all over the world.
In the Company of the Holy, the One True Lord comes to abide within the home of the self. ||1||
O my mind, meditate on the Name of the Lord, Har, Har.
The Naam is your Companion; it shall always be with you. It shall save you in the world hereafter. ||1||Pause||
What good is worldly greatness?
All the pleasures of Maya are tasteless and insipid. In the end, they shall all fade away.
Perfectly fulfilled and supremely acclaimed is the one, in whose heart the Lord abides. ||2||
Become the dust of the Saints; renounce your selfishness and conceit.
Give up all your schemes and your clever mental tricks, and fall at the Feet of the Guru.
He alone receives the Jewel, upon whose forehead such wondrous destiny is written. ||3||
O Siblings of Destiny, it is received only when God Himself bestows it.
People serve the True Guru only when the fever of egotism has been eradicated.
Nanak has met the Guru; all his sufferings have come to an end. ||4||8||78||

Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji p.44

Yes, I am a Trekkie, a nerd of the classical variety. Although not as knowledgeable as some – I'd have to look up France Nuyen's middle name – I am nonetheless a huge fan. More importantly, Star Trek has integrated itself into my life.

In the episode whose name shares this piece's title, a group of people are, unknown to them, living inside a spaceship hurling toward a paradisaical promised land. One man, now very old, once climbed a mountain, an act strictly forbidden, reached up and felt the edge of the spaceship. Telling about this, he falls dead, his act of disobedience costing him his life.

This might all be allegorical (much of Star Trek is), but I'm not sure if this has anything to do with this shabad or why I am writing this Whatever the case the background may be interesting to some. It is to me.

I have made this picture to illustrate one of the meanings of this shabad to me. There are many other meanings, of course. This is just one. I am no scholar and I am certain others get deeper meanings from this; this is what I see now. I am not writing a line-by-line analysis; I leave that to others.

Every time I read this shabad that line comes to my mind; for me it sums up one of the meanings it sometimes has for me. After all is said and done, the world of Maya is shallow and meaningless, hollow. How sad would it be if that were all there were!

As I see it, Siri Guru Granth Sahib ji and Sikhi, in general, and this shabad, in particular, show us the ultimate meaninglessness of Maya and the soaring delight, the peace and joy that await us when we are able to accept it.

From the hollowness of Maya, we are called upon to stop trying to find any lasting fulfillment within the fleeting confines of our mundane consciousness, to fall at the feet of the Guru and in doing so, to move beyond the ordinary, to touch the sky.

Part of the genius of Sikhi is that we are able to reach these heights while still living in the world of action, still doing the things people do everyday. This is where we are and what we do, all the time learning to overcome our fevered ego, learning to rest peacefully at the feet of Waheguru, experiencing the extraordinary in the ordinary, touching the sky while our own feet remain on the ground of the hollow world in which we live.


FOR THE WORLD IS HOLLOW AND I HAVE TOUCHED THE SKY - A Shabad